Monday, September 26, 2011

Flat line

My walk is filled with a lot of highs and lows and a lot more of plateaus and I think I fear the plateaus the most, because when I'm in a spiritual low at least I know where I am. One good thing about being at rock bottom is that the only place to look is up, but my plateaus last for weeks at a time, when I'm not stumbling, falling, crashing and burning, but I'm not growing and stretching upward either. For weeks at a time I'm just sort of existing in these plateaus. I despise them.

Life is so short. How can I dare to waste it away like I do? If my soul is flat lined, I'm dead. My heart is still beating, but I'm not living at all.

10,000 feet in the air and climbing. The clouds rush by and the seat-belt light is still on. No wonder I'm thinking about the mortality of man in comparison to the immortality of God.

I've seen God this week. I've seen His love, reaching out, pouring over His people, saturating them and flowing out of their hands and hearts. I've seen His handiwork, beautiful sunrises, all manner of creatures, the miracle of life, magnificent landscapes and the ugly beautiful. I've seen His heart while reading through His word. His incredible mercy, unfailing love, unsearchable works.

I've broken through the plateau. My soul is soaring, climbing, leaping and rejoicing. I've taken the dare to life life to it's fullest, whatever that may involve.

I've been feasting my soul. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled!" I've been filled. What an amazing feeling.

I've been filled, yet I thirst for more. To know Him more, to love Him more, to serve Him in everything that I do. It's a paradox, really, being filled and hungry at the same time. I love it.

When I consider what I deserve in comparison to what I have I stand in awe. My gifts journal is filling up fast. I'm well on my way to 1000, and I won't be able to stop there.

"When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His, doesn't all become a gift?"

- Ann Vooskamp

My life is a gift. Every moment I'm alive is grace. What can I do but praise You?

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