Friday, January 13, 2012

Abba, Father

My world had come crashing down. People I thought would be a part of my life forever had made it clear that they were done, and I was devastated. I put on a brave face and kept on when all I wanted to do was bury my head in the sand. I wanted to scream. I wanted to wake up from the nightmare I was living. I wanted to stop living. I wanted to do anything to release the pain, except talk about it.

2 am and I was sobbing quietly in my bed. I had never felt more alone, even though I was surrounded by my sleeping sisters. I had told nobody and was determined to keep it that way. It's better like this. You'll get over it faster. And you don't need them to mock you.

Before long I realized I wasn't alone. There was a hand rubbing my shoulder. My quiet anguish had brought the attention of my dad and he wasn't going to let me suffer by myself.

I had pursued a relationship that he had advised against and been bitten. Hard. And he, without any judgment, without any reluctance, was willing to give up his nights sleep in order to comfort me, even though he had to work in the morning.

This has always been the story with my dad. With nine daughters, that's a lot of missed sleep, I can assure you.

Maybe that's why the word "Father" to me says "comforter".

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

I've been pondering the vastness of God a lot lately, the expanse of the universe, how many people make up 7 billion, etc.. I am astounded every time to realize that still, He knows me. Still, He loves me..

I'm incredibly blessed to have a earthly example on a much smaller scale, but so much more incredible it is to be able to say, Abba, Father.

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