That decision that was keeping me awake is still hanging in the air taunting me. I've laid out a fleece before the Lord for direction, and I'm sure He's laughing at me as He tests my patience.
How much do you trust Me?
Not near enough. The suspense is about to kill me, and He says, Wait a couple more days.
So I'm waiting. If I trusted Him enough I would lay my offering on the altar and walk away. Instead I lay it down and circle around time and time again to see what He will do with it.
I know now that the decision is not mine to make. I've done all I can and now it's up to Him to orchestrate the details and then make them known to me - but I keep checking back, wondering if I can figure out which way He's decided.
The thing about gifts is that once they're given, you have no say over what happens to them anymore. If I've given my life to Christ, it's none of my concern how He chooses to use it.
When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.
Not that sorrows are rolling in over my life or that the surface lies undisturbed by change, but whatever my lot, I'm learning that it's okay. It's better than okay - it's good!