Friday, May 18, 2012

It made me think.

The comment was an innocent one, meaningless and silly and totally fitting with the flow of conversation around the dinner table.  We were discussing match-making and set-ups when my younger sister turned to me and declared, "My friend and I decided that the reason we pressure you to get married more than our older sister is that you're useless to us."

Even typed out is looks harsher than it sounded or was meant, but it stuck with me.  Maybe because it fit with what the Lord has been showing me, and maybe because it held more truth than my sister imagined when she announced it.

My older sister called me out a week or so ago, in the nicest way possible.  She shared a sliver of what she'd been dealing with and told me, "Merrie, may you never have to bear a burden alone or be without a shoulder to cry on.

My heart wrenched in two at that moment.   My sister had been carrying a burden too heavy, and I wasn't there to help.  I knew I'd brushed her off more than once, not having the time or the energy to get involved.

For the past eight months my life has been all about me.  "You girls need to be quiet because I have to go to sleep, because I have to get up early so that I can go to work to bring home my paycheck."

(Okay, who am I kidding?  My life has been all about me for the past 22 years)

My one job in life, my calling, is to love.  With all my heart, mind, soul and strength.  To love the Lord, and to love these people He created.  To treat the least of these as if they were Jesus Christ in the flesh, because in reality - they are.

Instead I've become so self-serving and focused on my own interests that I've lost sight of Him.

No more.  I want to be like Aaron, lifting up his brother's arms through the thick of the battle to ensure his brother's success.

5 comments:

  1. oh dear... I really need work in this area :/ It seems like I only have time and energy for my problems, I barely even consider the people around me that are struggling :(
    Also- where is that story of Aaron?

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    Replies
    1. Funny thing is, the Lord has been showing me that He will take care of my problems, leaving me free to worry about other people. (If I let Him, anyways.)

      Exodus chapter 17.

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  2. Eep! That DOES sound harsh. I'm glad you realized that I didn't mean it that way....

    -You know who.

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  3. Very convicting, but very encouraging at the same time. I've actually been struggling with the same sort of realization lately and the Lord has really been working on me, I've just been struggling to let Him change me into what he wants me to be, a completely selfless person lost in Him.

    - Kevin O

    You probably didn't think I read this did you. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing, Kevin! And honestly, no. I didn't think you read this. =)

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