Monday, March 4, 2013

Accepted? You bet!

I have an interview scheduled this week, after which I'll find out whether or not I will be accepted into the Midwifery College I'm really hoping to get into.
Boy-oh-boy, you wouldn't believe the insecurities that are cropping up all over in my life, hinging on that silly word, "accepted".   
 
What if I'm not smart enough, or my home-school education is inadequate?   What if I'm not the right type of person to be a midwife, or what if they just plain ole' don't like me?

Our culture puts so much stock into accomplishments, status and "What are you doing with your life?" that it's not enough to be joyfully serving the Lord by folding laundry and cleaning bathrooms for your family anymore - and I've put a lot of stock into this Midwifery School thing, thinking that while it seems to be God's direction for my life, it'll also be an acceptable life path and I'll have a really good answer for the "what are you doing with your life?" question that always comes up.

Insecurity is like an infectious disease, spreading from it's source to every other accessible area of my life.  I was laying in my bed last night with thoughts and fears tumbling and swirling around in my head, keeping sleep far from me. I had just nailed down my need to be accepted as the root of my problem when it finally occurred to me that by problem was a non-problem, because I am already accepted.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

Romans 15 hit it spot on.  No matter what happens, I've already been accepted, (through no feat or failure of my own) and I can rest in that.  Literally and figuratively.

7 comments:

  1. Such a great lesson! Thanks for sharing, Merrie! I've been thinking about the pressure the world puts on us with the question"what are you doing with your life?" as well.
    I think next time some one asks me that, I'll just say, "Being". :) Sometimes, I think that's all God wants of us - to just be, and enjoy it.

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    1. Oh! And I do hope you'll get "accepted", but I won't think any less of you if you don't. :P

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  2. Oh Merrie, I have been there so many times. I've got bad news and good news, both of which you probably already know. The bad news is, those feelings will not go away if the school "accepts" you, in fact that may just be the beginning of a long journey to find "acceptance". You will have to remind yourself of these truths many times over. Half way through grad school I was paralyzed with feelings of inadequacy. I too wondered if my "home-school" education was enough. Just remember that God has equipped you with all the education and skills you need to accomplish His next step for you whether that be midwifery or not (and that's the good news). He has intentionally brought you to where you are now. If this is indeed His direction for you then he has prepared you adequately. Thanks for posting.

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  3. So I read this post last night before bed. I kept thinking about it while I was going to sleep. I was thinking about the times I have struggled with this very same thing. I realized something. I was wondering why people who grow up in loving homes struggle with this. I realized that it's because we don't just want to be accepted. We also want to be acceptable. It often isn't enough to know that we are "accepted" by God and our families and loved ones. We want to be good enough, to know that we deserve to be accepted, that we can be accepted by out own merit. But we can't be. We are accepted on Christ's merit alone and God's goodness to us.

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  4. Midwifery college?? That sounds like a great adventure.

    What is the name of the school, and where is it?

    May His will (in this matter) be easily done!

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  5. Izzy! Hey, thanks for stopping by! It's called Midwifery College of Utah, and I am BEYOND excited to see where He's leading me.

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  6. Thanks for sharing, Merrie. I will be praying for you about this ed. endeavor.

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