Monday, February 24, 2014

So much to be thankful for!

After snoozing my alarm just once, I jumped out of bed at 4:something this morning with a little extra spring in my step which was not entirely due to the fact that I had to hustle to get out the door without being late.  See, I've been opening the little coffee shop for a lot of mornings in a row, and today is my last opening shift before I have a week off.

This time tomorrow I'll be on a plane, heading home to see my family - laughter seriously clogs my throat like a sob when I think about hugging my sisters at the airport in the balmy (and smoggy) California air.

Thank You, Father, for the inches of snow that fell yesterday, blanketing our town in white - thank You for your blood which washes m,e even whiter than this snow.

Thank You for the contrast between Idaho's snowy Monday and the sunny weather that waits for me tomorrow in California - thank You for your presence which warms my soul, even warmer than that California sunshine.

Thank You for the family and friends You've given me, both here in Idaho and back home in California - and thank You most of all for Your Son, Jesus Christ, the friend who is closer than a brother.

As the sun comes up illuminating the snow this morning, I'm in awe.  I'm humbled, indebted, grateful, and so freaking excited to be going home tomorrow!!!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Anxious for nothing

A pit of dread settled in my stomach as I looked at the first page of my final exam. Anxiety had been swirling through my head the whole weekend, but I'd put off the test long enough, and I was running out of time to get it done. I took a deep breath, and started in, shutting out the sounds and scenes around me. For the next hour, I agonized over the test, hoping that somehow, the answers would come to me.

When the hour was up, I turned it in to the proctor and asked for the second test, knowing that my results would be dicey at best. By the second page of the second test, panic began to set in.

What was I thinking? I'm not ready for this! I should have reviewed in the parking lot. I'm never gonna finish this! Help!”

It occurred to me that while I had asked my roommate to pray for me as I walked out the door, I hadn't prayed myself. I dropped my pencil then and there, and committed my test to the Lord, asking Him for clarity of mind as I finished the test out.

And then the wait began. Doing proctored tests means that the tests have to be scanned and emailed back to the school who forwards them to the instructor, who grades them at their leisure – and then, finally, after I've chewed my fingernails right off, and worn a hole in the carpet pacing back and forth, my results are posted.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”

Today, after checking for my scores for the fourth time in four hours, I realized that I had to get my mind on something else. So, today, I'm being thankful for my God who is bigger than test scores, who is powerful and good, and who I can wholeheartedly trust with my future. And I'm dwelling on the gifts that He's given me.  Things like:
 
:: Dad, and his wise counsel
:: Mornings in the Word
:: Those cheerful early morning customers
:: Fellowship with other kids my age who are pursuing Christ
:: The awesome girls I get to work with
:: Radiant heat, cold mornings, hot coffee
:: Going home to see my family in a week.

Forget about the tests, and all of the tomorrows. Today has enough things to think about.