I've been challenged much lately by
feelings of inadequacy. There's nothing like getting married and
jumping from life in the city to life in a tiny cabin to let a girl
know how much she DOESN'T know.
“Oh my goodness, that horse is
dead!!”
“No babe, horses actually like to lay
down in the sun like that.”
I'm so thankful for this season of my
life, but if I was going to write a novel about it, it would be
titled “The Great Adjustment”. All of the life skills that I
previously thought were valuable seem unusable, and I've had to learn
how to do everyday things.
Yes, I can navigate the grid of LA
freeways in rush hour traffic and find 4 alternate routes to my
destination. But we only have one road here, and part of it is
gravel. “Some help you turned out to be” the enemy whispers.
Yes, I can whip up a 4 course dinner
for 16 or 30, or even 40 people with an hour's notice (and a quick
trip to Costco) but cooking for just me and my husband is baffling.
“You're a terrible housewife!”
I could paint a house, assist with
numerous drywall, plumbing, electrical, or even flooring projects,
but my husband trains horses and takes care of their feet. And my
knowledge of horses is minuscule. And again the enemy whispers,
“You're worthless. You have nothing to offer.”
“Don't speak. Don't share. You
can't help. You have nothing that they need.”
But Truth cries out and fights back.
“NO! Lies! Lies! All lies!!”
And my husband assures me that he knew
ahead of time that I wasn't a country girl and he really wanted to
marry me, and he's glad he did.
And the Holy Spirit gently prods me to
offer myself. Because God created me in His image and that is
enough.
And in church yesterday my obedient and
introverted friend stood up in front of everyone and spoke powerful
words challenging me to step up and say “yes” to God when I am
inadequate, so He receives all the glory when He does big things
through me .
And the tag on my cup of tea this morning read “If
you have nothing else to give, give a smile.”
So excuse me while I go split some logs
to start a fire that will warm up this cabin before I go out to feed
the horses, and then put our little home back in order after a crazy
weekend. And even if I can't accomplish everything I set out to do, I will try my hardest, and I will smile. Because I am a child of God, and that is better than good
enough.
Love this, Merrie! When we feel inadequate is when God empowers us! Your gun-ho attitude is awesome. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Merrie! :)
ReplyDelete