"Excuse Me?"

My fingers are too cold to type I tell myself while debating whether I should work on that story I'm working on or browse facebook.

Sleep is better for me than that workout would be... (This one is both over-used and self-explanatory.)

Running could damage my knees.

I can eat healthy tomorrow.
It's too dark to run now.

My sister would probably rather I don't get underfoot in the kitchen.

I didn't mess up the kitchen, so I don't need to clean it up.

I did make that mess, but I did it for other people, so I don't need to clean it up.

I've known for awhile that I'm the queen of excuses, but I realized this morning (as I was driving to work on the later side of on time) that I've also developed quite a nasty habit excusing myself.

All my life I've always held to the belief that what happens to you is not your fault, but what you make of it is. (Keep in mind, I don't in anyway excuse those people who commit horrendous acts against other people, but I've read enough stories of real life survivors to believe that the power to change a bad situation into a good one lies within the individual.)

Merging on to the freeway I found myself rationalizing in my mind. It's not my fault if I'm late to work. I didn't load up all the bikes into the truck at the beach yesterday and leave them there. I don't even own a bike. The guys should have unloaded them before they left this morning. It's their fault I'm late.

I realized at the same time that while I didn't load the bikes into the truck, I also didn't UNLOAD them when I got home last night like I should have.

No longer having a valid excuse for being late I stepped on the gas, pushed through that yellow light and made it to work right on time. Yep. I'm convinced. The power to change a bad situation into a good... it's on me.

I'm pulling the plug on my weekend.

Literally. As soon as 5 o'clock hits, I'm shutting down the computer and turning off my phone. I'll hop into my brother's truck and drive until I get to the beach. I'll hug my little sisters, and kiss my niece and nephew. We'll do dishes by lantern light and watch the campfire burn out, and then we'll run and jump into our sleeping bags before our feet get cold.

I'm gonna watch the sunrise over the marina and take a walk down the beach. Grab a coffee with my brother, chat with my mom, read God's word on paper, hang out with my dad, ride a bike, write in my journal (on paper), play volleyball, cook, laugh, sing, play card games and sleep under the stars.

I want to live in the moment, relish every fresh breath of air, every smile, every inside joke. I want to snap photos in my mind of every ounce of beauty from the whole weekend. I don't want to take one minute for granted.

I'm not unplugging because I have a religious conviction against electronics or anything. I don't think it's going to give me a or more peaceful or spiritual experience. I just don't have enough time to do everything I want to do.

And I'll be checking my messages on Monday.

(P.S. In case of emergency, my brothers and sisters are still plugged in.)

Things that go bump in the night...

The wind is always a little spooky at night when it starts blowing, but not nearly as spooky as when it's both foggy and windy, and I'm home alone.

I got home from work and the house was all shut up, the gate closed and it was dark out. I took a deep breath and jumped out of the car, locking it behind me. Walking to the house to open the gate I heard music coming from my parents room.

"Maybe Dad left it playing so it would seem like someone was home" I mentally applauded my dad. He takes such good care of all of us, even going as far as to call me while I was at work to let me know he had left his handgun loaded and in the safe.

My family is going camping for a week. Without me.

I skirted around the house to the back door and tried the handle. It was unlocked.

So, I wasn't coming home to an empty house after all. My parents hadn't left yet.

Thank you, Lord! It's much nicer to be able to ease into this home alone thing instead of jumping in cold turkey!

By the time I went to bed the wind had picked up to the howling level. Unidentified objects scurried past the windows, something set the alarm off a couple times and the heater kept blowing out and starting back up with a whoosh. The wind chimes were ringing like you would expect, and the wooden "Give Thanks" sign on the back porch was adding it's own drumming to the sound track.

I curled up in my bed only to get up and shut off the alarm 2 minutes later. Sheepishly I pulled out Dad's handgun and put it in a more accessible place.

I crawled back in bed before I could get cold. Lord, I'm trusting you to keep me safe tonight

Rolling over, I slept like a baby.

"When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet" Proverbs 3:24

Monday Mornings

I sincerely love Mondays. Most the time when I tell people that, they chuckle at my sarcasm, but I'm not being sarcastic. Mondays are awesome. Sure they're filled with challenges and have an uncanny knack for having things go differently than planned, but they're also a fresh start. They set the tone for the whole week. They're a challenge and a chance for growth.

If I start my Monday early, diligently, rested, cheerfully and enthusiastically I can already tell it's going to be a great week. (Maybe it's easier for me to say that knowing there are only 3 work days this week) But if I start my week grudgingly, tired, depressed... well, what would you expect?

When I woke up this morning and it was still dark, and cold and foggy, I decided to go with the rested part, and skip the early and diligently. But hey, there's always tomorrow!

My sister really challenged me while we were getting ready for church yesterday. "Don't get so caught up pursuing your goals that you miss your ministry."

I was a little confused with that exhortation, not being sure what she was talking about. "I don't really have a ministry right now."

"Your life ministry, Merrie. Don't ever get too busy for that."

Not 30 minutes later we were sitting in church listening to a guest speaker share about what God has taught him about ministry. I was entertaining his 5 year old with one half of my brain while listening with the other.

"...And I finally figured it out! When the car breaks down on the way to an appointment with a big client, I've realized that he's not the one I have an appointment with, it's the guy next to me! So when my customer was an hour late to a meeting, I got all excited! 'God, who do YOU want me to meet with?''

My sister was right. I don't ever want to get too caught up with life that I miss.... life.

Call it what you will, Irin Cameron. It doesn't change reality.

The innocent Jews in Germany were declared to be a lower life form by their government and therefore by exterminating them the Nazi's were doing no wrong. Or were they?

In the same way, innocent babies in America were declared to be a lower life form by their government and therefore by exterminating them the mothers do no wrong. Or do they?

You implied that such a comparison was preposterous. I think your exact words were "the comparison is wildly offensive beyond any specter of attempted conversion or co-opting of Jewish tragedy."

Okay, obviously I can't say what is or isn't offensive to you, but is the comparison so far out as you seem to think?

You know what part of your article stuck out to me the most? It was the hostile attitude you take towards the makers of 180movie who are getting out there and doing something about what they believe. They're not holding roast sessions, writing inflammatory articles, making personal jabs or calling you names.

This respectful approach, this carefully thought out and well backed up message, the way they encourage their audience to examine their own hearts and consciences' instead of judging the next guy, maybe this is the reason for 180movie's 1,574,475 views on Youtube and the increasing positive response it's being received with.

"I gave my history teacher a 180 movie card and a couple days later he showed the video to the class. He introduced the video as a video [comparing] the holocaust and abortion. After watching the video, we had a class discussion on how it changes your perspective on both the holocaust and abortion."

-11th Grade Student at Northridge Academy High School

Thank you, Irin, for taking an interest in this hot topic, but while your piece was well written and highly entertaining, it was hardly convicting.

A fabulous day, and how it's made.

I don't know if this is the case for everybody but coming home to a full house after a long day at work always makes me happy. Walking into the kitchen where my sisters are preparing dinner, passing through to the bedroom to take off my coat and put down my purse (if I was embellishing here, I would've said "hang up my coat and put away my purse...") where two or more of my sisters are playing an imaginary game, reading a book or surfing the internet... just being home with my family gives me a high. It's almost like a drug or something.

After goofing around with the girls in the kitchen for about ten minutes I wandered into my parents room to greet my Dad.

"Hi! How was your day?"

"It was..." pausing to find the right word, "...fabulous!" I finished, enthusiastically.

"Really? What made it fabulous?" Dad asked.

I had to think about it. There were so many contributing factors, like coming home to a house full of family or a sister who bought me a bar of dark chocolate just because. A profitable day at work with no customers yelling at me on the phone factored in. An encouraging word from a friend definitely made the list as did sitting in the sunshine to eat a yummy healthy lunch. Then there was an eggnog latte, (first of the season) and a trip to the music store...

"Well..." I began, trying to decide what one thing changed my day from great to fabulous. "Uhm...well, God, really. Just how much He loves me."

Every one of the things I had thought of had been orchestrated by God just for me.

I read on a facebook status yesterday that you can never over emphasize grace. Whoever said that was right.

My morning started early today. 5:30, actually. By 6:30 I had a batch of muffins in the oven, another one ready to bake, I'd been greeted by several smiling faces, had a sister helping me with dishes and had been given two free coffees.

What's the word for better than fabulous?

Sleep and Spiders

It all started last night. Not wanting the party to end, I stayed up later than I should, but still went to bed earlier than the rest of the six girls I share a room with. Ask anyone who knows me, the best way to get under my skin is to keep me up when I'm trying to sleep. If I've already fallen asleep and you wake me up....well... my sisters recommend you have a good life insurance policy.

Things that are normally funny and cute are suddenly not funny to me at all. Even my precious little sister failed to make me laugh when she brought me back from the edge of blissful sleep to ask if it would keep me awake if she talked in her sleep. Yes it was ironic, but I didn't find it funny at the time.

All in all, not a great way to start a work week. Rushing out the door in the morning on the verge of being terribly late, finding a black widow in my office, sitting at my desk freezing, all of these were contributing factors.

Feeling very sorry for myself I picked up my phone and started to compose a text message to drum up some sympathy.

"Icy cold fingers and a black widow in my office. Yep, apparently it's Monday!"

Instantly I was convicted. My attitude did a 180 before I finished the text.

"A mug of hot water to warm my fingers on and an Uncle to kill the spider. Yep, apparently God still loves me!"

It's funny how a little bit of perspective can change your whole day.