Everyday battles...

Giving the biggest battles over to God comes natural to me. Perhaps this is because its so blatantly obvious to me that the results are out of my hands.

I'm talking about my very own battles here. Of course it's easy for me trust Him with other people's battles. But thats kind of like the time our family went out to eat and the server dumped a tray of 16 ice waters down my younger sisters back.

"Oh, it's okay!" my family heard me reassure the server. Easy for me to say.

For me, a young single independent/dependent (yes, that IS an actual term. I just made it up.) there aren't too many big battles for me to give over to God. My biggest worry is probably that my car might die and I wouldn't make it to work. A forced day off? What a bummer! (That was sarcasm, just in case you wondered. I would love it if that happened.)

So I'm left with the little battles... coordinating schedules, being late somewhere, paying overdue bills that weren't received the first time, that cranky customer...

And even smaller battles - a dead battery on my phone, my sister keeps using my phone, I can't find my keys, the little girls are arguing or giggling when I'm trying to sleep. (okay, that could be on the bigger battles list.)

Each one of these turn to a battle when I get frustrated, upset or annoyed over the situation.  Each situation is an opportunity for me to acknowledge that God is in control and thank Him for His purpose in the situation, just like I would do if it were something big like a life threatening disease, or losing my home to foreclosure, or some other big deal.

I think to a God who has infinite power and control, no one situation matters more than another. No sparrow falls without Him knowing about it, which makes me think that He also cares if my car registration bill is loaded with late fees just like He cares about my cousin's battle with cancer.  Not to say cancer matters little, but that God cares much.

To take the battle into my own hands is to deny His strength.  For me to become frustrated or upset is to say, "God I don't believe You're still in control over this situation.  Or if You are, I don't believe You're working it for good, so I'm gonna take charge here."

I want to trust Him with the small things.  To thank Him for the little details.  To acknowledge His hand and His presence in every aspect of my life.

I want to glorify Him with my attitude.

Subtle promptings ignored...

It started while I was driving home from work yesterday and noticed a man walking up the hill with a gas can in his hand.

I should offer him a lift

But he's already halfway to the gas station, and it would be really awkward to get across the center divider and back through this traffic.  He'd probably be faster on foot.  And it would be weird, because I don't know him, and I'm a girl...........

By the time I merged onto the freeway I was really kicking myself for not helping out.

"Lord, that guy is your child.  He's somebody's brother and son.  I think I'd want someone to help my brother or son, even if they were a random stranger.  You've put a burden on my heart to love the average Joe, and I've ignored it too many times!  Please give me grace to be attentive to your promptings.  And give me the courage to follow through!"

The next prompting I remember was the one I had while going to bed last night.

I should set my alarm for a little bit earlier than normal so I can spend some extra time in the Word.

Yeah, that one doesn't usually get obeyed.  Especially not for me.  I snoozed my alarm as many times as possible before running out the door.

Oh, it's okay.. I still have some extra time.  I can stop for coffee and read the Word at the coffee shop for three and a half minutes.

As I neared the coffee shop, my car started doing this weird shaking thing.  I disengaged the transmission, and the shaking continued.   I checked the gauges and everything seemed normal, but when I saw the smoke (or steam) coming out from under the hood, I decided to pull over.   The engine died while I backed it into a parking spot at a gas station.

Pulling out my cell phone, I was greeted by the blinking battery light.  Yep.  Almost dead.   I had time for a quick phone call to my brother, who recommended I didn't pour water or anything in until it cooled down, and a quick text to my uncle, letting him know I'd be late for work.

As I walked up the street to the coffee shop I was reminded of the guy I had ignored yesterday.  As I sat out on the patio, with a cup of coffee (hey, why not?) and my bible, I was reminded of the quiet time that I had slept through.  With 40 minutes to wait, I couldn't help but be thankful that God had answered my prayer of yesterday, and not allowed me to miss His prompting.

Sometimes when subtle promptings are ignored, they are followed by not-so-subtle directions.  I just wish it didn't have to be so expensive.

A day in the life...

The activity level had risen to a frenzy, and it had been hours since I'd actually seen my desk, buried as it was under papers, all of which were urgently seeking my attention.

The phone was ringing off the hook and in all honesty, I wondered about unplugging it.

"Onyx Shutters, this is Merrie..."

"Merrie, did you get that order I faxed in?  I need it to be emailed to me right away, so I can confirm it."

"Okay, let me see..." I shuffled through the stack of orders off the fax machine, "Yep, it's here!  I haven't gotten a chance to input it, but will get it done as soon as I can."

I promise you it wasn't two minutes later that they called back.

"Merrie, have you sent the email yet?"

At this point, I started mentally composing a Facebook status.  It read something like this:  Dear sir.  You are a pain in the neck.  And calling me every two minutes does not allow me to work any faster, neither does it inspire me to give you better service than the 5 other customers who want my immediate attention.   Sincerely, 'not your slave'.

"I'll have it done in just a couple minutes!" I replied sweetly instead, and hung up the phone.  (After saying the proper goodbyes of course.)

Being a representative of somebody else's company, my actions and attitudes are always on the alert, knowing that it's not my name on the line, but the name of my employer.  It just struck me though - why only at work?  Why not all the time, seeing as I'm a representative of Jesus Christ?

The shape of our lives

Yesterday the oldest sister and the littlest sister switched places.  Just for the day.  Our baby sister (who isn't really a baby anymore at eight years old) with her sparkling eyes, bouncy curls and sunny personality had been overheard telling people she "hated being the youngest of 14 kids"

When questioned why she would hate it, she always replied, "Cause everybody bosses me, and I don't get to boss anybody!"

EDIT: (We thought this dynamic might change when we got chickens, because at least she got to boss them, but when the chickens started dying, well....)

So for that reason, the youngest and the oldest traded jobs.  With (much) assistance, the youngest was sent to the office to do the payroll for the family business, was assigned to plan the menu, arrange the household chores and prepare the dinner.   We all thought it would be appropriate to balk and complain when asked to help, but the giggles and grins were hard to hide.

By the end of the day the littlest was frustrated and overtired.  I asked her what she thought about being the youngest of 14 now, and she hesitated before telling me that she thought it was okay.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Nobody knows who I am now!" she wailed, burying her head in my shoulder.

"Of course we know who you are!  You wanna know why you're frustrated?"

The curls bobbed up and down, indicating an affirmative answer.

"Well, you know that toy that our little nephew has with the different shaped holes, and the blocks that fit in it?"

She recognized the toy, even though my description was lacking.

"Do you ever notice how hard he tries to fit the wrong blocks into the holes, and how frustrated it makes him?  God made you the shape of who you are for a reason, and trying to fit your shape into another shaped hole is only going to make you frustrated!"

I'm not sure if she got the analogy, but I sure did.  I try so hard to be someone I'm not.  Today I'm going to be thankful for who I am.  Life works better that way.