Friday, March 23, 2012

Blind as a bat

I left home without my glasses this morning. I was totally crusin' along, taking time to do my hair and have tea with my baby sister, (tea for me, hot chocolate for her) and I get to work only to realize that I had left my glasses on my bed.

"____, ____, ____!" The words I said in my mind were childish, unprofessional and don't belong on this blog. (Does it make it better if they didn't actually come out of my mouth?)

So there I was at work, and my glasses were 15 minutes away at home. (30 minutes with traffic)

Might as well make the best of it. I fired up my computer and squinted at the screen for a few seconds before muscle memory took over and I went to work. Clicking the links I needed to open because I knew where they were, not because I knew what they said, signing in to my 3 different email accounts that I work off of as a customer service rep, and booting up our online system.

I continued to move through my morning routine in the same manner before I realized that this was nothing new.

I do this all the time, only not at work.

It's called going through the motions.

And it's pathetic. Almost as pathetic as me, putting in eight hours in front of a computer without being able to read a word off the screen.

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

And yeah, I just copy-pasted that from a website without reading it, cause I can't really see it. It's scary how good I've gotten at detaching my heart from what my hands are doing.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to leave my glasses behind - for helping me to see so clearly what I've been doing to my walk with you, and for always, always, always welcoming me back into your arms.

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