Its easy for me to say that the one focal point in my life - my main goal, dream and desire, what I want more than anything: is to honor and glorify the Lord in everything I do, and to serve Him in any way possible. Now that I'm thinking about it, I want to add "Return His love for me" in there too, not only because its the greatest commandment, but also because He loves me so much! I'm blown away by His love for me, when I think about it.
Here's the problem. It's the "when I think about it" part that bugs me. Why am I not thinking about it 24-7? Its not that I don't want to be! I truly love Jesus. He's my King, my Savior, my Hero, my Lover and my Friend. But I'm such a selfish individual (not to be self depreciating or anything, just to say it like it is) that my thoughts somehow always turn to thoughts of me. Things that I like, things that affect me. What people say about me or to me. Things that I need to do. What I think about things, things that I've already done, and things I don't like. Its sick. I'm obsessed with myself. <--- which is one of my problems, but that's getting ahead of myself -
ANYWAYS. Here's the deal. While talking to a good friend a while back he was sharing about a book they were going through in bible study about fellowship, and it really impressed him (and me) when it said that fellowship isn't a group of Christians getting together. It really isn't. Necessarily. Well, its always fellowship. (fellows in the same ship) but Pizza Night, when we all come together and eat pizza, play volleyball, gossip and tell funny stories - That's fellowship of pizza, fellowship of volleyball, gossip and stories. Its not fellowship of the Gospel. Just the fact that everyone's a Christian doesn't make it the kind of fellowship the NT tells us to have.
So what? Do we need to set aside a bible study time at every event? Or pray together every time we play basketball? How am I supposed to have the fellowship of the gospel without it being forced and without turning people away. (I'm sure if I gathered everyone together before we started our game for a word of prayer, no one would walk away, cause they all profess to be Christians, right? But still, it wouldn't be genuine. It would become one more ritual)
Jesus said "Out of the abundance of his heart, his mouth speaks" and that's just it. If my heart is filled with Him, the gospel is going to come out in my conversations. If my heart is filled with movies, TV shows, gossip, sports, cars, cares of this world, worry for the future... that's what my fellowship will be about.
Everything always boils down to where my heart is, every time. But the substance of my fellowship is a really good check engine light for me to see what's going on inside me. Where's your fellowship?